Valentine? Or not?

It is the long-awaited Valentine’s Day. Let us talk about every aspect of life.

On personal life.

Today can go in only two ways for everyone. It is either you receive a package or not. I mean, it could come from a friend, prospective, or even lover. But for those of us with bad characters who would not be receiving gifts, let us gather here. You, yes You. Why is nobody gifting you? As for me, I have long accepted that my character is not too good so nothing for me. What is your excuse?

However, regardless of what position we stand let us be honest with ourselves. You do not have to say it out loud, but you and I know that deep down, we want to receive gifts today even if it is from an old friend. But you know why it is not at the top of your mind? At least for me, it is because I am not yet in that financial state where I can afford to buy gifts for a couple of friends even if it is just to bring a smile to their face. Soon, my loves.

*Personal view; There is something extra intimate about gifting. It means you thought about me, you thought about that gift, you thought about how I will react when I get it, you thought about the emotions I will feel about this gift in the long run, you thought about how I will thank you with my pretty smile. All of these are just in the mere act of gifting. I kind of understand why Giving gifts is a love language because it speaks as much as physical touch and quality time do.

On school.

I will outrightly shade anyone that wears red or anything with a touch of red, today. Or wait, I should wear black on black to fully portray my hateeeee on lovers. Please allow me to hate in peace. I have two classes today and I am very sure the lecturers will refer to this day. I know it has only just begun but can it end already?

I do not miss secondary school. On Valentine's Day, assembly used to be really long. School management would invite a set of Christian guys to come speak to us about love, how we are too young for it and to abstain from sex. I really do not see a point in all that. It is the same thing every year. It is like telling a child not to put his fingers into the fire without giving him a strong reason not to. He will be curious about what could happen if he tries it. That is how the human mind works. Look at Eve, if God did not specifically point out that tree even if she was cajoled, she most probably would have in mind the implications of eating from it.

I should consider taking a walk tonight but that is like shooting myself in the legs. The celebrants of today will be everywhere. It is not even about oppression now; I just want to take a quiet walk.

On Work.

I will be releasing a Valentine Speciale podcast episode by 9:00 pm on WuraRadio. It will be available on Spotify, Anchor, and Apple Podcast. You should listen to it; it is beyond the usual conventional love-related podcast. Even as the host, I learned a lot from the guests of the program. There is something about being knowledgeable and mature about the things of the heart and understanding how differently it works for everyone.

This is for my working-class readers.

I know your workplace will most definitely not give you a break today. I hope you do have fun exchanging gifts at work. And yes! I found out recently that there is a thing called work couples. If you are in such a situation, Happy Valentine's to you and your work partner.

On Love.

My heart goes out to those who had their heartbroken days to this day, to those who will get their heart broken today or in the next consecutive days, and to the ones who are nursing hurt from the past. I hope you all heal.

I do not like talking about a concept I have yet to crack the shell of.

It is quite nice to see people say “I love you” to each other but I believe it goes beyond the words in actuality and it should be more of an action.

Love is in the ‘Good morning, have a good day’.

Love is in the ‘I got you a cup of coffee’.

Love is in the ‘Let us take a walk so you can get things off your chest’.

Love is in the ‘Grab my hands while we cross’.

Love is in the ‘Your meal is in the kitchen’ after a long day.

Love is in the ‘I filled your bucket with water’.

Love is in the ‘I read the article you wrote and shared it with my friends’.

Love is in the ‘I will call you as soon as I can talk’ and getting that call.'

Love is in the ‘Call me as soon as you get home’.

Love is in the ‘Do you feel better now?'

Love is in the ‘Hold my hands so I will not lose you to the crowd’.

Love is in the ‘Hug me and cry all you need to, that’s why I am here.’

Love is in the ‘I sent you the notes you missed out on in class’.

Love is in the ‘Did you check your mail today?’

Love is in the ‘I sent you IG reels.'

Love is in the ‘I curated a playlist for you’.

Love is in so many things beyond the words we say. I believe true love is going to be a very beautiful thing to experience as much as it will require as much work to be placed into it.

Well, there is so much more beyond love, let’s carry on.

We have three different people today.

1. The set of people who have always celebrated Valentine’s Day. 

In Junior Secondary School, on Valentine’s Day, the girls in my class would step out of class during breaks, free periods, or whenever a teacher was not in class to an unknown destination. This was to give their boyfriends, crushes, or secret lovers time to go keep whatever package they got them under their locker. By the time they returned to class, every girl was suddenly opening their lockers. Sometimes, they would gather at one particular girl’s locker and swoon at the already-placed gift before going to check theirs. This was Valentine’s Day routine in my Junior secondary school. I can vividly remember the disappointment on my classmate's faces who did not get any ‘surprise’ from their prospects. I was not familiar with this game until two years, later. In JSS 3, my then group of friends were shipping me with two different guys I was friends with. For anonymity's sake, let’s call them Tobi and Kehinde. I was closer to Kehinde than Tobi, so I assumed Tobi saw me as more than a friend because of the way my friends used to gas him up. My younger self did not get a hang of what feelings were supposed to be like, so I did not push. My friends though kept ringing Valentine to me and that was when I got the hang of how the day works. 

We walked to the matron’s shop on the 13th to buy a white sock and a Valentine's card. I initially wanted to give it to Kehinde as he was my close friend. Shebi it’s love we’re celebrating, and I love my friends, I thought. 

As I was designing the card, my friend said, "Don’t write your name o. I wondered how he’d know it was from me, but I did not overthink it. I went ahead with what they said. 

On the 14th, my friends stalled me from going to assembly and said they needed me to man the door while they put cards under the locker of their prospects. I did so. Then, I gave them mine to put in Kehinde’s locker. Not until later that day I was told it went to Tobi’s locker instead because they believed she liked me more than Kehinde. Ffs, what is this like these people were mentioning but my innocent mind decided to leave it be. At least, my name was not on the card.

Three periods into the day, my civics teacher had a meeting, so we were free for the next two periods. She gave us classwork, but we finished it in no time. Not long after, I was dragged out of the classroom alongside other girls who engaged in this tradition. We returned a couple of minutes into the break, and they all dashed to their lockers. I followed my friend to hers and we met Chocolate. That was when it clicked. I went back to my seat but didn’t check my locker because I was not expecting anything. At the end of the day, dear readers, your pretty writer didn’t get any ‘surprise’ gift. Kehinde ended up insulting those doing valentines when the day was over. I was too ashamed to speak of my foolishness. Right there and then, I understood that Valentine's was for lovers, not friends. 

I knew of someone who collected Valentine's gifts 4 out of 6 times in secondary school but look at your writer. She was chasing novels.

 

2. The set of people who hate on Valentine’s Day.

If you look inwardly at this set of people, you’ll realize they either have a bad history with Valentine’s Day or they are just natural haters of romance. My school brother in Senior Secondary School used to be one of the latter set until he landed a babe that was so in love with romanticizing their future. My bro was forced to convert straight up. 

Now, let’s talk about the people who have a bad history with Valentine’s Day. It goes three ways; it’s either they once had a partner who never saw a reason to gift them, the kind of breakfast they have been served in the past can feed an entire football team or they have been disappointed in the past during birthdays and special, so they do not expect gifts or anything. 

I do not blame these people. Please pour the hate if that makes you feel better. 

But really, why would you have a partner and not gift them for this day? Even if you do not see a need to celebrate it, the effort of caring about what your babe likes to do is enough. Now, you’ve scarred a lovely woman for another Yoruba demon to come and heal. It’s not fair, fix up. 

Anyways, if you’re like me and you’ve never collected a Valentine’s gift from a romantic partner (maybe because you’ve never had one) gather here.

Though, a talking stage gave me money instead last year. As per broke babe. He said I should get something I mentioned I was saving towards. Meaningful gift. It’s not you people’s roses. Note: I do not hate roses. I just have demands beyond that😭. One day, I will receive it and press your people’s neck.  

 

Now imagine you and your crush fall under this category, nothing for you o. Why will both of you be hating together? No expectations no explanation. 

Also, if you fall in this category, you surely will be in bed and be commenting “It is even plastic, this perfume is fake, so your man cannot afford more than this? Anything that makes you happy.” under people’s post. Again, it is allowed. That’s your designation for today so do it well.

 

3. The red and white church girlies/guys. 

Some nights ago, I randomly reminded my roommate of ‘Lily Among Thorns’. It is a Valentine’s Day program that was held for teenagers and super teens in Redeem across all provinces. 

On this day, everyone is expected to wear a touch of white and red colour. If you’re planning to do that today, please abort that plan.

Then. the teenagers would be taken to their provincial headquarters from each zone or parish. From there, they would be taught what is right or wrong and how Valentine is not Christian-like for your age. 

If you can relate to this, read on. 

It’s usually the same sermon from home, church, or school. 

But you know, some people have bricks in their ear walls. They are like the stony grounds where the seed fell upon. They could not germinate so they went ahead and executed their plan from the onset. You can force a horse to a river, but you cannot force it to drink. 

 

It’s funny how we moved from not understanding what Valentine is to caring about whatever happens on that day. 

Before you disappoint me, I have thought of five ways you would go about disappointing me. So, it hurts less. 

Whatever category you fall in, just do what makes you feel loved by yourself or your partner.

And if your partner is not thoughtful about your feelings about that day, abort the mission before you tie the knot based on conflicting values.

 

Now, it’s another Valentine’s Day. It’s either you are waiting for a package, you’re waiting to be disappointed, you’re waiting for the dispatch rider to send your package out, you are waiting for your friend’s gift so you can tap from it, you are part of the ‘awwwnn’ Geng or you’re a pure hater. Whichever you are, Happy Valentine's Day.

 

Today, I’ll attend classes. Then, a meeting. I’ll most probably stay in the corner of my balcony and shout awwwnnn as Dispatch riders come and go while shuffling between Twitter and IG to retweet Anti-Valentines' posts. 

 

What will you be doing today? Please leave a comment.