Steady Beginnings

I need January to give me a portion of its speed. 

Happy New Year! Do you know what makes this greeting special? I will be the last person to wish you a happy new year in 2025. Keep that in your memory. 

Lapse; 27/12/24

Tick Tock, says the time. 

On this day, I could have sworn you'd get a Happy New Year writing out of me within the first week of the New Year however, the only writing I have managed to squeeze out of my juice is Academic writing. 

I want to believe that lecturers love to torture final-year students, so they dump numerous bulky assignments on us, make us attend classes for presentations, and assign practical work while we carry the weight of project on our shoulders.

At this point, I have given up on complaining. I just do every task assigned as the back of my brain whispers "A couple of weeks more". 

Normalize what is not normal.

Don’t vex me, today or any other day.

There is something I can never stop praying about in every aspect of my life and it is delay. I hate being delayed. I detest how Africans deal with appointments and sticking to a time schedule. It is quite irritating that it takes discipline to be right on time in this country because it is not the norm. 

I got to an event slated for 5:00pm at 5:10pm because I was told it was going to begin within 30minutes from the slated time and these people (organizers) did not begin until 6:30pm. The only thing that kept me glued to my seat was my purpose of attending the event. FIX UP, if you claim the culture of "African time". 

If you were in my shoes, not literally because I do not even know my actual shoe size but if you were, what would you have done? Expired after 30 minutes of waiting?

A story.

I want to write short stories more this year. Funny ones but I think I might be a little bit too serious to be able to pull that off. But my friends think I am funny on some days, like 1 in 60 days. To give up on this dream? 

So far, So good. 

Living, not existing.

And if I were to die today, I would say I lived without the fear of being judged. 

The first month of the year is coming to an end and I am barely catching hours to myself. Haew. When I get a minute to myself, I spend it reading a novel, newsletters, or listening to my favourite podcast episode. 

Life has been somewhat overwhelming and a bit tiring. I am to finish university in a few months and if you are a graduate reading this, you probably understand how the last lap feels. It is with mixed feelings I run this lap. I am glad this is almost over. However, at the same time, I am horribly scared because I am about to fully transition into adulthood without the guise of being a student. It is either I do well, or I do well. There is no other option for me. Also, I seem to be more exhausted each day. 

I may or may not have experienced my first weekend getaway from reality, this month, twice. Getaway from life. Even if it's within the comfort of your room. 

Did you know? Some friends just have a way of taking stress out of your system and there is always an unspoken rule of boundaries and reciprocating. 

Ever woken up and laughed at your foolishness? Yes, I did that this month.

I fell asleep on the floor of my room in the afternoon, and I woke up crying. Life is wild. 

I ate street food. 

Multiple karaoke sessions. 

Games night.

Formed a song with a group, which I don't remember anymore. 

Had a one-time heart-to-heart conversation with a stranger who I may never meet again.

I camped for days in my room without stepping out except to shower and dispose of trash.

I went to a supermarket late at night. 

I ate really spicy noodles at midnight. 

January, I lived spontaneously. 

Prayer works

This girl is helped by God.

So many things are happening all at once and God is here, helping me navigate them all.

I am such a Yah's baby girl. I run to Him at the slightest convenience and inconvenience. Happy? God. Grateful? God. Broke? God. Tired? God. Frustrated? God. Sad? God. Broken? God. Literally everything...

Prayer works, I am counting my blessings, and I am writing my testimonies. 

Not-so-obvious

I am not okay.

My lifestyle cannot be sustained with the way I am going. 

I have become a runner. A friend went through my DMs and asked why I had that many unreplied texts. 

You think you've healed until you get triggered. 

Even the atmosphere of a new year won't wash away the pain of the previous year. 

I crave the most unnecessary things. Tell me why it's 2 boiled eggs draped in palm oil stew I feel like eating.

I have exams upcoming, and I have not started reading. Oh chim. 

I am writing this at 2:50am because I wanted to keep my word to my editor, and I have to be up by 5:00am to prepare for a 7:00am class.

7:00am and 8:00am classes should be banned from the university system. 

Dearest Readers, when next I write to you, I will...come find out yourself!  

With this, I sign out. Ciao.